You don’t choose everything that happens to you, but you DO have to take responsibility for what you do (or don’t do) about those things.  You can choose to yell & scream about how unfair the world is (it IS unfair), or you can choose to take whatever baby steps you can take to overcome whatever it is that has happened.  This is NOT a ‘blame the victim’ way of thinking.  Rather it is saying ‘I may have been a victim of something or someone, but I refuse to live the rest of my life in victim-hood; I will not be defined by it.’  It is not necessarily the easier way to live your life, but I propose that it is the more satisfying way to live your life.  Take responsibility for your own actions and reactions.