Daily Bliss #20130820
Are you reacting to what is actually happening, or to the story you are telling yourself about what is happening? Don’t assume that you know what the motivation or back story of an event is; it can make things seem much worse than they are. For instance, if your partner is aloof and not speaking to you, don’t assume that it is about you. Those feelings of insecurity that come out at times like these (“He can’t even stand to talk to me anymore because I am so fat, ugly, uninteresting…”) are not helpful at all. Instead, why not ask? He may be wrapped up in thinking about an issue at work, or wondering if he has time to run an errand before he picks up the kids, or any number of other things. You can always try, “The story I am telling myself about this is (fill in the blank), can you please tell me if I am correct?” In the unlikely event that you are correct, then at least you know. And in the more likely scenario that you are not correct, then you also know. Don’t assume; ask the question.